Do you have questions for a psychologist? Are you afraid or embarrassed to see one? Well, we may have the answers you need! Now you can ask Dr. Juliet and Dr. Nisrine for psychological and social advice for free!
Can people become alcoholics even if they drink occasionally, like every once in a while?
Drinking alcohol isn’t only about the amount you drink. It is very important to realize why one is drinking, how often, and with whom. Individuals can become alcoholics if they come to enjoy the feeling of being under the influence and become dependent on it to alleviate certain emotional distress. Alcoholics also drink and do not know when to stop. These individuals lose control over their alcohol consumption and the alcohol comes to control them. Because of all of this, alcoholism is a psychological disorder that can ruin individuals’ lives. People who are alcoholics often lose their relationships with their family, become inconsistent at their jobs and become isolated from the society. They ignore their responsibilities just to satisfy an urge to drink. It is also important to note that alcohol is a depressant and long-term drinking can cause depression and anxiety. Anyone who feels that they have lost control of their life and see increased psychological symptoms should seek professional help as soon possible.
If many people in my family died and I did not feel sadness or regret and I didn’t cry, is that normal? I had three of my grandparents die, as well as my favorite aunt, but I felt nothing. Am I different or is everyone like this?
People grieve in their own way. However, it seems that you have not allowed yourself to process the loss of loved ones and be in touch with your feelings regarding them. Excessive losses can make us numb to our feelings and to protect ourselves, we distant our feelings in fear of losing control over those feelings. It is possible that the family saw you as the strong person who can handle it all and in the process of giving comfort and care to everyone, you forgot to grieve yourself. Also remember that dealing with death is a learned behavior, so maybe when growing up you saw women holding the family together during crisis and you are modeling similar behavior. You need to allow yourself to be sad and reassure yourself that nothing will happen that is out of your control. Don’t be afraid of your emotions.
Is it okay to hate the world because everyone seems to be doing bad things all around you, such as drugs, alcohol, rape, murder, stealing, etc?
It seems that you are angry about what the world has turned into. However, it is important to understand that just like there is evil out there, there is also a lot of good. Don’t allow external events to turn you into a pessimist but rather allow yourself to make a balance between the good and evil out there. If you only see the bad in the world, this will make you afraid of your surroundings and it can cause you to become depressed. We agree that bad things have increased a little more in the past years but nevertheless, we should not make these bad things the focus of our lives if we want to live a healthier and fuller life. Remember, if you choose to hate, then you will be hated and ultimately, you will live miserable for the rest of your life, so what is the advantage of hating?
How can I resolve my trust issues?
Trust issues stem from various experiences, including early attachment problems, betrayal from loved ones, etc. It is important for you to gain insight into the roots of these trust issues, process and resolve them, and then build healthy relationships. Sometimes we allow bad experiences from our past to cloud our potentially positive future experiences, and this keeps good people from coming into our lives. If you have trust issues, it’s important to understand the reason behind them so you don’t push potentially good people away from your life. We suggest you sort out the reasons behind your trust issues with a qualified psychologist so you can live a satisfying and happy life. Remember, trust is the core of everything we do and without it, the possibility of connecting to anything and anyone is limited.
How can I get rid of my food addiction?
Being addicted to food is almost like any other addiction, in that it is used as a way to relieve stress, escape, and indulge oneself. To get rid of food addiction, you need to understand how food has become a substitute for your emotional relief. Sometimes, we learn this mechanism as children; when we got upset and needed relief, food was the answer, or we saw our parents or older siblings using food to medicate themselves from problems or life stressors. Food is an easy thing for us to use as a pain reliever; its fast, tastes good, and is available and legal, so why not? The problem is not with food, but the reason behind it. Just like anything, if we use it for other reasons than what it was meant for, it can become an addiction. Using something as a substitute for expressing our feelings or avoiding confrontation, and /or painful experiences is not a healthy way of dealing with things and ultimately, you will suffer the consequences. Please seek help soon to understand the connection between your eating and emotions. Your relationship with food needs to explore your past and how it’s connected to your present and your way of coping.
For psychological advice, send your questions to [email protected]. Please note that not all questions can be published. Dr. Juliet and Dr. Nisrine are bilingual and bicultural expert psychologists on various personal and social issues. Visit www.kaizen-ke.com or follow them on Facebook: kaizen2q8.