I am not living in New York, and I was not the girl that bought Vogue magazines instead of dinner. I am just a normal girl, living in Kuwait. No, I am not famous on social media, nor do I attend all those fancy openings. I’m always striving to work hard at work, and then, it’s just me and my books, friends, shows and anything to keep me busy. Oh, and I wish I could spend copious amounts of money on Christian Louboutins and Manolo Blahniks.
Just the other day, while sitting with some elder female relatives, the topic started to steer in the direction of marriage, weddings and husbands. I have always hated those conversations, but they somehow always crawled into family gatherings, social obligations or while merely bumping into someone. “Are you married yet?!” Inevitable, as always.
It dawned on me that no matter how well I was doing at work, my career advancements or educational ladder, it was never good enough. Sadly, those older women simply did not value a successful career as much as marriage. Surprisingly, it was not only the older women. Looking around, many of the younger generation were getting married at the age of 20. Was this simply the new “suitable age” for girls to be married? Or has it always been? And if not, had we “missed the train”?
Getting closer to 30, every birthday seemed to have such a huge toll on me. This was evident among other single lady friends. The social pressure seemed to just get louder and recently deafening. We were all merely lost Carrie Bradshaws trying to find their way in New York City, well in our case, Kuwait City. But were we really lost, or simply looking? As Carrie once put it, “I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. Being successful and independent certainly did not mean settling down for the sake of merely settling.
Despite the “She’s still not married?!” pity looks from those older women and younger married girls, one had to come to a realization that it was not a man that completes us, nor a marriage. Sure, we all believe in love and wish we could find something close enough to it when the time feels right, but I believe in bigger things. Independence, free-thinking, adventure, being a free spirit and I believe in a career that no man is needed for and mostly, I believe in the freedom, the freedom to being married to me…What’s better than having the most significant relationship of all – one with yourself. Being single should not be looked down upon, nor does it mean that nobody wants you. Now, in our day and age, it should mean that you might still be looking, or deciding what you want to do with your life, because we should never settle for anything less than butterflies.