“Wow, you’ve gained weight. What happened?”
“Well, it all started somewhere in Lebanon. It is believed that I was born in the summer of 1986. Some meteorologists even claim that it rained that day as if Earth was releasing its final gift to humanity. I was led by destiny my entire life, since childhood. I was always there at the right time and the right moment to do what is right.”
“And what is that?”
“Punch you in the face, for asking such an ignorant question.”
That entire conversation, was real. For the life of me, I cannot understand how peoples’ brains function. In the book of “Interacting with others for dummies”, Page 1, Chapter 1, Paragraph 1, Sentence 1, it says: say something nice or shut it!
I cannot wrap my head around people’s urge to pass such comments unto others without realizing the repercussions of their words. This one is personal, so brace yourselves.
For the past nine years, I was lucky enough to lead an amazing life filled with horrible, tough, happy and great moments. But, what always hit me hard is my weight problem. I seemed to always gain weight whatever I did or tried.
Even though, my self-worth and/or perception of myself is independent of others’ words or opinions, I somehow kept a log in my subconscious of these horrible interactions and one thought kept on recurring to me: If my weight was a pivotal part of the depression I had, people would have led me to do the unthinkable.
Please, don’t get me wrong: I am not saying fat jokes are off limits, otherwise I will be a hypocrite since I believe that we can laugh about anything and everything. And while I believe that, I also said previously that I am respectful of others. I can make the jokes on my own, still get a great laugh without having to defend my choices.
But, when you are approached with such a serious tone and ignorance, all packaged in that question, I cannot but think that these people somehow thought that I had no mirrors, no scale and most importantly, no self-awareness.
It’s pretty ironic to think that the latter is what they also lack if they ask such ignorant questions.
You are in no way to ask that question. Not even if the intent behind asking it is good. I bet those same people are the ones who take pictures in parking lots riding motorcycles they do not own without thinking that it is trespassing. YES! I finally said it, if you are a biker I totally feel for you.
You are in no way my dietitian, my trainer nor my health consultant. Even those professionals would never ask you that question unless they got their diploma in a dumpster at the entrance of a forest. People are wired differently, understand that. Much like you would not like someone asking you how come your baby is ugly, others would not appreciate your ignorant comments.
I am lucky enough to be one of many who don’t pay attention to what people say, but there are others who live day to day hating on their bodies because they feel like it’s trapping them, and your words fall on their ears like a huge padlock that adds another layer to that prison.
Again, stop it! Either compliment people or just shut it!
You’re not the weight police, no one is. We all have an on-call officer in our heads that says the most horrible things to us on a minute-to-minute basis, and when you materialize these words outside our heads, you give that inward dictator more power.
Be aware. Simple.
And if after this article, you’re still thinking: What on earth do I speak about then?
Here are some suggestions:
1. The weather.
2. The latest space breakthrough by Elon Musk (pretty cool subject).
3. How some people lack social sensitivity (wow, this one is definitely your expertise).
So, Shhh… and let me have my fried chicken burger in peace with my officer.
Featured photo by Tom Sodoge on Unsplash.