Ascia Al Faraj requires no introduction. You’ll easily recognize her as one of the world’s most influential fashion bloggers and influencers, a multi-faceted content creator, business owner, mother and all around bundle of endless positive energy that livens up our social media feeds on the daily.
But before all of these labels, she is Ascia the human being. She, like everyone else on this planet, is flesh and bones, mind and soul, with seemingly normal every day interactions and feelings.
Just as Ascia chooses to share her life with the world, our interactions, in turn, have consequences. Sure, online experts will tell you that engagement on social media is important and paramount to content creators. But, in utilizing this logic, is all engagement equal in weight? We forget the power that words can have over the recipient.
Words are funny this way; they can scar you, lead you to self-destruction, inspire you, make your day when you’re feeling at your lowest, or even save your life. Sure, it’s so easy to preach that “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.”
But this is where you are totally wrong. Name-calling, bullying, whether it is online or in real life, is not a joke. A study by Yale university deemed that bully victims are 2-9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims—no laughing matter here.
This is why we couldn’t think of a better choice when Ascia was selected as one of the super star judges on the digital content creation competition, Sadeem. Especially when it came to their latest anti cyber bullying campaign under the hashtag “my story with bullying” or “#قصتي_مع_التنمر” to kickstart the second season of the show.
Image courtesy of Ascia
Ascia’s experience with cyber-bullying is not necessarily tied to one incident or the other, but she recounts her pregnancy with her baby Adam with so much apparent pain in the campaign video.
I gained weight, which is normal when a woman is pregnant. As my weight fluctuated, I faced heavy backlash and negative comments in a notorious way; I was told things like ‘you’re too fat, I know you’re pregnant but why are you so bloated! You are gigantic…’, This subject was so hard for me, I couldn’t help it, I was pregnant and my weight was not something I could control.
I feel like cyber-bullies tend to forget that we are people. I knew that I was pregnant and I was supposed to eat healthy, I tried not to cry. I knew that the negative comments were not the most important thing in my life, but the criticism I faced was not right. I was supposed to be focusing on my pregnancy, instead I turned it to my weight gain, so I was not really happy during my pregnancy, I was not comfortable.
The worst part is that I wasn’t used to people’s criticism on my appearance, I know that my work relies on style and the way I look, but my work does not include me changing myself for someone else. The most important thing in life, is to be at peace with yourself and not with people.
Read on to get Ascia’s two cents on cyber-bullying and how we can all combat it, as well the upcoming season of the digital content creation competition, Sadeem.
Sadeem has chosen to tackle the issue of cyber-bullying in their latest campaign. As a content creator yourself with a global online presence, how often do you encountercyber-bullying?
Due to the nature of my job, I encounter bullying in all its forms on a daily basis. With the rise in social media, the rise in the incidence of bullying has increased to keep pace. People become very bold behind their screens. Sadly, it has become part of the job.
You were very frank in Sadeem’s anti cyber-bullying campaign video about your experience. How difficult was it for you to open up about your experience with cyber-bullying?
I speak openly regarding my struggles about many topics considered to be private. Whether it is about balancing marriage, motherhood, parenting, body image, frustrations with our society or cyber-bullying. I am used to the criticism that comes with my opinions and the fact that I express them freely.
You’ve made it your ethos to create a safe space online for like-minded people to express themselves. Realistically, there are times when this space is interrupted by negative naysayers. How do you move on from this?
I recognize that everyone is on a journey, some are further along that road than others. I also respect opposing opinions, as long as they’re expressed constructively. We can’t progress without an open dialogue.
What are some tips to surpass these hurdles?
Recognize that some people are not open to acceptance and change. They find comfort in the status quo and the only way to battle that, in my opinion, is to keep doing what I’m doing…rebelling daily against things I disagree with by actively continuing to do the things people oppose me for.
Do you sometimes wish you could have your anonymity back?
I love what I do and feel blessed to have the freedom to do it, this job of mine would not be possible without all the amazing people who support me. However, I will admit that there are times when I am out with my toddler, who is throwing a tantrum in the middle of a popular mall, that I do wish to be invisible, but, I imagine that many mothers can relate to that thought process.
We’re constantly overloaded by information online, and people have become desensitized to cyber-bullying. Why should the everyday person care about battling this vicious phenomenon?
Desensitization is a dangerous phenomenon, we only need to look to history to prove that point. When you have the ability to take a soul and limit it to either a photo online or your definition of them, you’ve essentially disrespected your Creator. That’s a hard concept for me to swallow: That one can preach in the name of religion but forget that we’re all created equally in the eyes of our Creator. How we live our lives in the short time we’re on this planet should really be centered around doing our best to make it wonderfully livable for all.
What do you love most about the content creation process?
That it’s multifaceted and means different things to different creators. It’s a pretty loose term “content creation,” and I love the accessibility that the term provides. It means you don’t need to have a studied skillset to participate, so that process differs greatly from person to person…being able to work on a team and witness that is the most rewarding part of the process for me.
In this day and age, influencers can get a bad rap for posting content that doesn’t quite relate to the everyday person. Why do you think this is becoming so common?
I watched a documentary recently that described an influencer’s job as “the performance of living a successful life,” and it hit me pretty hard because it really is a performance for some people. A performance ending in the culmination of years of carefully created photos, weddings, faked happy moments but potentially no real happy memories. I’m guilty of having participated in it myself for a short span of time before realizing how fruitless it all is. It’s common because it’s a more accessible celebrity than that of a Hollywood one. And how does Sadeem’s role as a content creation competition play into this? I think it is important to impress upon the rising content creators that they have an important role in our future. They should take their roles seriously by understanding their impact while still have fun with the medium. It is a fine balance.
As one of the super-star judges on Sadeem, how has your experience been so far?
This is my sophomore year with Sadeem. We, as judges, have worked together with the production team to bring something fresh and fun your way. There are changes in store that we think our audience will enjoy. We really enjoy what we are doing and I believe that comes across on set.
Tell us about some of your favorite content creators that competed during season 1 of Sadeem.
NOT fair, bazaar! That is like asking a mother to name her favorite child. I enjoyed each and every one of the first season competitors for different reasons. They all exhibited talent and brought their personal brand to the table. Trust me, when it got down to the finale, in true Millennial fashion, we wanted everyone to win.
How will this upcoming season of Sadeem differ from the previous season?
The playing field has become even more elevated. The contestants are INSANELY talented and come with their own success stories already. It’s going to be outrageous. Subscribe, pop your popcorn, snuggle in and see it unfold for yourself!
What knowledge do you hope to impart on Sadeem’s upcoming top 20 candidates?
Stay true to yourself and your audience. Protect your brand and your authenticity at all costs (yes, including the monetary tax of losing out on big projects because it hinders authenticity).
What are you looking forward to the most with this new season?
Discovering new talent in this medium. It’s like I am a member of a team of explorers.
Image courtesy of Ascia
Finally, what advice do you have for anyone looking to successfully launch a career online utilizing social media?
If this is what you want to do, do not let anything or anyone stop you. Take the medium seriously, and come to be collaborative.
As for cyber-bullies, any final words to them?
Take what you’re about to say, say it to yourself out loud and pretend someone else is saying it to you first. If it still passes that test, then fine.
For more information about Sadeem, visit their website www.sadeem.com. Find their latest updates on social media @OfficialSadeem. For more on Ascia Al-Faraj, please visit @Ascia on Instagram.
