She was…she is perfect, the perfect skin, the perfect curves, the perfect colouring. She always looked perfect: on point, on trend, classy, and co-ordinated, from the tips to the toes and everything in between. Heck she even fit in the bathroom sink when she was getting ready (no – the sink wasn’t big, but she was that tiny and flexible and determined to get the eyeliner right!). A hint of a six pack, perfect muscle definition, no stretch marks (mashallah) she was an A student, and all round great at everything she does, from home to sports, to being a friend and a sister – the perfect daughter (she’s married now with a kid – sorry guys!) – and with the lingering perfume to leave a lasting impression.
And yet, her confidence was so low: “I need to lose weight”, “I need to fix this part of my face”, “this flab’s gotta go”, “does this make me look fat?” , “ I need to do this better” – we were around 14 or 15 years old, and I remember looking at her thinking how perfect she is and looking at myself and all my physical flaws (I actually had a belly, and the stretch marks to go with it to name a few), if she feels like that, how should I feel? That day, I decided the world is a strange place, and beautiful women were a gift to men – because they just don’t ever realize how beautiful they are. That day I also decided that as long as I had 10 fingers and 10 toes, functioning legs and arms, and technically healthy and able to do all I wanted to do, wear my Guns N Roses t-shirt, Levi’s Jeans, my black asymmetrical tops, bohemian skirts, dance like no one is watching – I wasn’t going to worry about it. Not then, not now, not ever, that is unless there was a risk to my life or health. That day I decided if perfection was miserable then imperfection was my happiness – I was going to embrace it and not care. And to her, till this day I indebt my positivity and confidence in myself (although, I must admit I have my own share of Bridget Jones ‘All by myself’ tearful moments).
Why am I sharing this with you? Because ladies someone out there sees you as perfection and is hoping to be you, or to have that part of you that you want to fix. And curvy women? My BBB’s! The whole monster out there that is obsessed with beauty and the beauty/cosmetic industry is trying to recreate what we have naturally. Women out there are paying to plump up their cheeks, add hips, more bust, bubble behinds – they’re not working for it, they are paying for it, and maintaining it – love handles are a thing!
As I write this article, I see Marina Rinaldi has launched a ‘Celebrate your Curves’ campaign urging women to say: “I am beautiful, I am strong, I am smart, I am proud of my body”. I feel happy; a sign that this is the right time to write about this. That is exactly what we are, and we are so much more than our bodies. So many brands out there are catering for our bodies – because well, we are part of this world and not going anywhere, and we spend as much as anyone else if not more.
Once upon a time (OK a very long time ago), Reubens, Titian, da Vinci painted the larger women because they were the sexy of the renaissance and this trend keeps going and coming (every once in a while, there’s a Twiggy or Kate Moss getting in the way, but then there’s Oprah, J-Lo, the Kardashians and Adele to change the direction). So, forget about the trend and focus on your health, because despite trends ‘…beauty [will always be] in the eye of the beholder’. I think the actual Jeffery Dahmer is cute do you? I like the crooked natural teeth that come with the Brits as opposed to the perfect bright white set that comes with the Americans – what about you? I love a belly on a man over a six pack any day yourself? I rest my case! Gerald Seymour famously said “…one man’s freedom fighter is another man’s terrorist” – well, not everyone has the same taste in beauty!
As humans we go through so much in life – nothing is guaranteed. As women this is even more true. From hormones, to menstruation, to pregnancies and menopause, there’s so much and this is not counting social pressures, the depressions, the emotional eating, and the list goes on. Me personally? PCOS is my enemy. My message to you is don’t worry about what measures of beauty you’re not meeting, bushy brows are in today, thin brows will be back tomorrow. Worry about fixing the health issues if you have any, worry about knowing what you want from this life and how you will get it, worry about your loved ones. A thin person is not always healthy the same way a bigger person is not always unhealthy, and the reverse is also true. Some people are as Cartman said, ‘not fat…[but] big boned’. The only thing that is beautiful without discussion is health and happiness. Those are priceless and can make the worst glow in beauty.
If you’re unhappy, don’t complain – do something about it; find out the source and try to fix it. Filter between social and society pressure and the actual source of unhappiness. And if you’re happy – great, you have the secret.
It’s a short life, just make sure you’re fit enough to live it, enjoy it, make moments, and leave a good legacy behind.
Rasha Ezzeddine – a spiritual global (Belgian) citizen, Sierra Leonean roots, Lebanese blood, Indian in a past life, London at heart, Kuwait at soul, redefining in Dubai. Connect digitally @Rasha208 or reach out at Rasha208@gmail.com. Photo by Drop the Label Movement on Unsplash.
