By George Tarabay

“Knock, knock”

“Who’s there?”

“Eyegota”

“Eyegota who?”

“Eyegota cable and a laptop. Now I’m a DJ”

[Slams the door in their face.]

Yep, welcome to the latest, and not so recent, trend in Kuwait. People choosing a moniker and buying a cable and then bombarding you with their fresh, oh-honey-believe-me-they’re-not DJ skills.

I am all for following your heart, but please keep it to yourself. If my unborn, never to be born, child chooses to start playing the violin, believe you me, he will be on the street faster than he can start swinging his arch! What do I mean? If you want to be a DJ, then please, by all means, start learning, but don’t call yourself that before you really master the craft. That would be offensive, not only to people who mastered the craft, but also to the ears of humans and dogs living three blocks away.

I’ve witnessed many people start from scratch and work day and night to achieve what they deem artistic, and then go out in public and perform to showcase their talents and services. Guess what? they all nailed it!

I know music is to be enjoyed, but the guy or lady playing it (3 feminist points for Georgie boy for being such a sport) has got to know what and how to mix. Otherwise: “Wanna go somewhere quiet?”

This rule does not only apply to DJs, but it also applies to musicians alike, and I think it is about fair time we plug some serious local talent, please look them up and listen to their work. Here I go (I know there are way more people than those I am listing, but please forgive me, as I am only human and humans are forgetful creatures):

Musicians/Song Writers/Singers/Bands: Omar Afuni, Carol Souki, Amin Fari, The Hashtags, Fabrice, Zak Musawi, The Afterthought Band, Daffy, Army of One, Qattana, Tarek Kabbani, Ahmed Ashab…

DJs/Producers: iCandi, Kade B, Majed Zane, Viper, Shadow, Jacks, Bruce, X …

Look them up, I’ll wait.

These young men and women worked day and night, then day after day after day to master their craft. Once you hear their work, whether you like it or not, you cannot take away from their skill, talent and hard work. They breath what they do, and it can be heard clearly in whatever they bring forth.

Now, why on earth would you go around with a cable or an off-tune guitar claiming that you’re a DJ or a singer? Hein?

The self-proclaimed fresh DJs or musicians nowadays, are not only hurting the ears of those past their tight circle (because let’s face it, these are their only fans), but they’re also hurting the real artists who are trying to break through and land paid gigs. It is already hard for artists and DJs to get paid, especially when most business owners or event planners believe that “exposure” is a very valuable currency that translates into more gigs, which most probably, also pay in “exposure”.

These artists or DJs missed several outings with their friends and their families because they couldn’t leave before mastering that solo, or finding the ending to that verse or landing the perfect thirty minutes mix list. They paid for their art emotionally, physically, mentally, personally, financially and the real hard currency, their time. By providing a lower, more horrible version of what they do, you are lowering their industry’s standard.

That’s why, I have to revisit my initial statement: If you want to be a DJ or singer/songwriter or even a cover performer, please do. All the artists/DJs I mentioned started in silence and determination. Now, and even though most of them are reluctant to call themselves artists because they are modest, we bestow on them these names because we see their effort and talent in every second of what they do and we enjoy it.

Start low-key, practice, optimize and then let people call you DJ or singer or…

The equation is not “cable + new instrument = artist.”

The equation is “dude, she/he got some real skills + talent! = artist.”

Now go practice before I whip you with that cable!

With love; not hate,

George.

Editor’s Note: Recommended track for this piece is anything by DJ/Producer Kade B, seriously check him out he is a real talent soundcloud.com/kade_b. George Tarabay is a local radio host, comedian, and marketing expert. For his latest updates, follow him on Instagram @GeorgeTarabay. For more comic relief, visit Facebook.com/Georgethecomic or scan this page using the Layar App!