“When I first came out there was no such thing as Twitter or Facebook. And the blogs! Like, what is that?” Christina Aguilera
Just about anyone who is…well…”anyone” is an active Facebook user. Let’s face it, our Facebook culture pretty much dictates everything we do, from shopping in the mall, to going out with friends. Back when Facebook was launched, it was a place to reconnect with meaningful friends and forge ahead in noteworthy conversation. However, these days, Facebook has morphed into a much larger beast. On the upside, it is an excellent resource for sharing knowledge and creating a unified front when the situation arises. On the downside, the vast majority of what is shared is mindless dribble that is a waste of time and space. Everyone, and their mother, is on Facebook sharing an insane, never-ending stream of worthless status updates that aren’t worth the time it takes to click “send”.
Quite notably, in the history of mankind, never before have humans been able to reconnect with insignificant others who should have been mere blips on the radar screen of life. But oh no! Thanks to Facebook, you can reconnect with that little red haired girl that you sat beside in first grade (what was her name?) and even the pizza deliveryman who stoically delivered your pizza to your home back in the day. With all the information being shared, there are countless Facebook follies being committed that make the person posting look like a…er…variant on a donkey! Save yourself some embarrassment by avoiding these Facebook follies the next time you feel the need to update your status!
The “TMI” Folly
I see this folly time and time, and time, again! And each time I see it, it causes me to shake my head and curse the Facebook powers-that-be for putting such a valuable tool in the hands of idiots. It truly isn’t necessary to let all your Facebook friends know “Too Much Information” when it comes to topics that should remain forever hidden in your dungeon of shame. No, I don’t want to see a photo of your gnarly and bloodied toe that you nicked on an errant Kuwaiti desert rock. And I seriously, and I mean SERIOUSLY, do not need to know when you’re constipated or just not feeling “regular”. When it comes to anything and everything related to your body, remember, the less you share, the better everyone else will feel!
The Soap box Folly
Granted, Facebook is an amazing platform for getting the word out about your latest cause or project. We all know that the power of Facebook has altered politics and helped to lend a hand to the oppressed around the world. However, pick your causes wisely. I mean, before you climb up on that big ol’ soap box lamenting the migratory pattern of desert birds…ask yourself this, “Who cares?” To avoid annoying your friends and family, choose soap boxes that others can rally around, like Breast Cancer Awareness or crowd-funding an inventive start-up. Remember, the distance between your soap box and someone who can throw a rotten tomato in your direction is much closer on Facebook than it is in real life.
The Over-”Shares” Folly
This, perhaps, is the most exasperating and painful of all. You know that little “Share” button that beckons to you each time you stumble upon a hilarious kitten photo or inspirational quote that you just know will touch the hearts of every one of your friends? Don’t, by any means, click on it unless what you are sharing is truly something helpful or memorable to others. Not, that image of a fluffy hamster bemoaning the advent of Monday morning while nestled in a coffee cup…It makes my blood boil. And that equally ahhh-mazing picture quote about how the more things change, the more they stay the same? It does everything BUT impress me. Please follow the Golden Rule in reverse when using Facebook, by not doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. Instead, only share things that truly rock or are mischievously disturbing!
