If it’s possible to converse with every human that ever roamed, or continues to roam, this planet, you will notice several things: We all come from struggle; some are lazy; others are proactive about their dreams; some believe the earth is flat (what’s up with that, by the way?); some believe there are aliens watching over us. But through that sea of differences, you will notice that we are all connected in our obsession with what I would love to call ‘A Perfect Start.’
At this point of the time-space continuum (by the way, this point for you is now, but for me it’s at least 10 days before you even started reading this…. mind blown?) you might be wondering: are there people who seriously believe the earth is flat? How can we eradicate them? Also, George, what on earth is ‘A Perfect Start’? To which I answer: Yes, there are people like that and believe you me, I am working on it.
Also, “A perfect start” is a term I coined (a bit of it actually, I “bit-coined” it. Pun score: a gazillion smaguillion) that reflects our inability to take decisive action the moment when we desire it. Like, when you state, “I’m starting the diet Monday”, or “I’ll start studying at 7 p.m.” Whatever the statement or desired action, we seem unable to start in the moment we desire it the most. Why? Because we are trained to like symmetry, and perfection in shape, we feel most comfortable when people tell us “let’s meet at 6”, but if someone tells us “want to meet at 6:17?” we feel that there is something genuinely wrong with them.
It’s like the value of time to us is linked to its value on the chart that describes it. Minutes one to nine are insignificant. We embed them in their closest value, be it zero or ten. Same goes for 11 to 19, 21 to 29 etc. If time wasn’t set at a certain decimally perfect mark, we rather waste those minutes than actually make use of them.
The same applies for weekdays. Monday is King. Every diet I have witnessed started on a Monday and ended on Monday afternoon. Even though the dietee (is that even a word?) made the claim on a Monday afternoon, he’d rather spend a full six days in bashful eating, instead of starting immediately, based solemnly on the premise: I start Monday, and today that is Monday is almost done, so I’ll start next week.
We’ve found comfort at the starting line of things, be it time, the week or the worse of them all the year, that we don’t even bother pushing through the race to see what the finish line looks like.
To me, New year’s resolutions are scary: I have witnessed many make bold claims, only to see those claims in shambles not two weeks later. And the horror you’re met with when you inquire, and you hear “I’ll try again next year”. That’s eleven months away! You’re willing to waste eleven months on whatever you want to changed, rather than spending eleven months trying to push through with it? Why? Because it’s February? The second month of the year? Oh My GOD! what would people say if you started on the second month of the year? Probably, nothing, because they’ll be busy loathing the shambles of their own decisions and resolutions.
Why waste time? On a personal note, I spent nine years in that loop, waiting for a Monday or New Year’s to drop the weight, until I realized that I have been doing the same mistake over and over again. You know what I did instead? I broke the cycle and had gastric sleeve surgery in 2017 (no symmetry there), in November (the 11th month? I must be crazy), on the 10th. Alright, I broke the cycle but I still love base decimal numbers! Sue me… on Monday.
Now, get up and attend to your desires. Every minute counts. Welcome 2018 with a head start.
George Tarabay is a local comedian and marketing expert. For his latest updates, follow him on Instagram: @GeorgeTarabay. For more comic relief, check out George on Facebook.com/Georgethecomic
Feature image by Heather Zabriskie on Unsplash
