Arranged marriage vs love marriage can be a hot topic in the region. Freelance writer Meryl Mathew decided to tackle the topic in her upcoming book Small Talk and Simple Things. She defends the older custom with personal stories and anecdotes and attempts to show an alternative perspective. We interviewed her to learn more about it.
Why did you decide to write a book and why this one in particular?
I have always loved to tell stories and I find a lot of happiness in sharing someone else’s success and achievements with the world. This was one of the major reasons I started freelance writing and over time the art of creative writing became a passion that I held close to my heart.
From the time I started writing I always dreamt of publishing a book, but I never came across a topic that meant something to me at the same time would mean something to the readers as well. I wanted it to be something unique and something that was not out there already. Hence when my parents began my journey in looking out for my partner through the Indian system of arranged marriage I came across a lot of stories and experiences that my friends and friends of friends shared with me as they experienced the same journey.
I realized that there are many movies and books that talk about love stories and relationships found through dating. However, the soulmates who find each other through arranged marriage often never narrate their story out loud for some reason. This was when I asked myself, why not? because in today’s world where communication has become quite easy at a click of a button, arranged marriage has also become quite relaxed between possible proposals, hence some of their love stories are truly beautiful and some of them that did not work out was still worth a story to tell because of the memories and lessons it held.
The topic you chose can be controversial. Did the journey writing this book change your views in any way?
When my journey through the arranged marriage process began, I wasn’t sure how I would marry someone that I met through an app. I was positive that I could never fall in love or even like someone this way and decide to be with that person for the rest of my life after a few casual meetings. The journey of writing this book began as my way to deal with this frustration of the unknown.
But when I heard several other stories and experiences and saw how beautiful these arranged marriage love stories were my view turned 180 degrees. I realized that a soulmate who was perfect for you in every way could be found even when you let your family play the major role in finding them. Thus almost magically taking away the prejudice that my mind was caught in.
What do you wish people would take away from this book?
“I have some great news to tell you, I’m getting married. Families just committed.” Diya said with a wide grin on her face.
“That’s great news, Congratulations” Aditi replied.
“Thank you. I’m so excited that its finally happening.”
“So was it an arranged marriage or love marriage?” asked Aditi curiously.
“Well you know just arranged.” Diya replied as she looked down, her smile fading away.
This is what I am hoping to change with my book. The prejudice that every arranged marriage is forced and backward and only love marriages are something special and unique. I hope the stories in the book turn out to be a fun and relatable read for the readers because in the end it’s not about how you meet someone but who you meet that matters.
What was the process of self-publishing like? What did you learn from it? And would you do it again?
When I delved into the process of self-publication I realized that it was much more difficult than I thought it would be. Writing a book is much easier compared to getting into the nitty-gritty of formatting and marketing the book yourself. But I enjoyed every part of it as each of these parts finally made the book.
In the end when I saw my first copy both as an EBook and Print I sighed and told myself yes, it was definitely worth it, and I would eagerly do it another time.
Meryl Mathew is a Logistician by profession, a writer by passion and an upcycling hobbyist. She involves herself in a lot of multi-cultural events across Kuwait. The book will be available on September 12th. You can find her on Muckrack (meryl-mathew) and on Instagram @create.kuwait.
