If historians, folklorists, mythologists and the odd Wikipedia page are to be believed, the modern day holiday song has been gifted to us via an evolution from its early days as a church hymn or chant, which evolved into the wassail, which would turn into the holiday carols we all now know so well. And, while I am clearly paraphrasing for brevities sake, all I personally know is that they are unavoidable, and thanks in no small part to the holiday creep—the phrase used to describe the ever lengthening of the holiday season—increasingly filling up more of our calendar space. We present to you the only holiday LP Record (mix tape?) you will ever need: Side A if you’re in the holiday spirit, Side B if you can’t be bothered and wish to drink and sulk in a corner. Flip accordingly!

Side A – Holidays

#1 White Christmas – Bing Crosby, 1942

#2 Santa Baby – Eartha Kitt, 1953

#3 Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas – Frank Sinatra, 1957

#4 Happy Christmas (War Is Over) – John & Yoko/Plastic Ono Band with the Harlem Community Choir, 1971

#5 Do They Know It’s Christmas? – Band Aid, 1984

#6 All I want for Christmas – Mariah Carey, 1994

Side B – Alternative Holidays

#1 Fairytale of New York – The Pogues and Kristy MacColl, 1987

#2 Christmas in Hollis – RUN DMC, 1987

#3 Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis – Tom Waits, 1978

#4 Blue Christmas – Bright Eyes, 2002

#5 2000 Miles – The Pretenders, 1983

#6 Christmas Eve Can Kill You – The Everly Brothers, 1971 or Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billie, 2012

If you do not have access to the materials needed to make a lacquer, a metal master, and the eventual stamper and corresponding hydraulic press needed for vinyl, I guess a mix-tape is ok too. Don’t say we never gave you nothin’.